harakiri.moe

why am i here

juniper — Fri, 22 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000

Today was the last day of school for my school district, and now that summer's started in earnest there's only one feeling that goes through my mind. Well, I've been feeling this way since a few months ago, but only moreso now. I'm fucked.

Objectively I'm a good student; I've gone for what is essentially the "max rigor" you would say at any usual high school. I've only taken honors classes ever, and I've only taken APs where they were available. In these classes, I've done pretty well; I've got the maximum GPA tier for most of them and the few semesters I missed were either a second tier or in 2 cases a third tier. Everyone says this is great! I'm headed off to a great university and my performance is that of a top tier student. Don't even worry!

Unfortunately, I'm in what is one of the most competitive high school clusters in the state of Texas. I'm literally so close to just giving up. The only feeling that registers in me is exhaustion.

Shut up! Stop complaining! is what my friends say when I talk about this stuff. You're doing better than me, they say (they're not, they're literally doing better.) I honestly don't know if they'll ever get how I feel about it. The only thing that's been drummed into our collective souls as first generation Asian Americans is go to a good school. If you get into a good school by excelling in your studies, then your life will open up for you; that's how it worked for our parents in Asia, and it's how they got here. Surely the same must apply here, or at least very similar.

All I can say to that is this; in today's world, good schools are the bare minimum, and even those who get in those are struggling with finding employment long-term. Even if they're for the "right" majors; ie. not CS or liberal arts but something like ECE or whatever, there's still a large proportion of new grads who are nonetheless forced to shoulder their debts without meaningful long-term and appropriate employment for their level of expertise. Entry-level jobs requiring years of experience, thousands of internship applications without landing a single one... this is just a fraction of what America's best students are now subject to.

So now, all this being said... I've lost for myself any chance of even landing in this. Not only am I not the best at my competitive high school, but even the best won't be doing great. What decides the next few decades will be luck. I for one don't think I'll be waiting around for that to happen.

Reflections on the consumer tech market

juniper — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I built my computer around February of 2023, with some major upgrades having taken place since then, especially with a CPU upgrade in March 2024. This build had a budget of about ~$800 and I think that what I got was a pretty decent bit of computer for that amount of money. If one includes the upgrades and computing peripherals, I spent a total of around $1700 for my entire setup.

Why do I say this? The parts I got at the time were a steal at the time, but why bring these figures up now? The fact of the matter is that the consumer electronics space has simply become far, far more expensive than it was previously, even with a timeframe as short as this. In fact, it is practically unaffordable to purchase a computer at a decent pricepoint if one considers new parts. There are a few main reasons behind this shift, however the biggest culprit is the surge in the AI bubble and the race to snatch as much computing power as possible by these AI companies. Case in point: the consumer tech market is dying, in favor of catering towards these large AI corporations and the corresponding market bubble.

The big headliner these days is RAM. RAM is necessary for any computer, and having more of it allows you to accomplish more and different tasks using said computer; I don't suppose I need to say this to whoever is reading this. As we all know, these days RAM is utterly unaffordable. Take the kit my computer uses for instance.

I got this kit of memory for US$77.99 from Newegg in February 2023, when 32 GB kits were still pretty expensive. Of course, they decreased in price over time, but they've been creeping back up...

From a low of about ~$50 this summer, the price of this kit has shot up more than 3x and it will now cost you around $180. What a world.

Why in the fuck is this happening? Well, the answer is just a few clicks away with modern internet; AI firms such as OpenAI have utterly gobbled up the RAM market with their ambitious new expansion plans. OpenAI is probably the main player in the LLM world at the moment, what with their products ChatGPT and Sora. As a high schooler, the impact they've had is pretty astounding, especially for students, and absolutely not in a good way whatsoever. If I may, I'll just list a few of the terrible complications of AI usage at my school in particular, as a first-hand observer...

Obviously, people haven't been doing their assignments. It's become a terrible issue, and as someone who actually does bother to do the work without any LLM usage (I will never use that shit for school, even if it does cost me) it's terrifying how many people with such good grades don't know even the most basic information about the material we've been learning in the readings and in class. And you wonder why you did so terrible on the final...
Teachers too have been getting in on the AI fun. Last year, the AP Human Geography teachers at my school apparently set upon themselves to automate parts of their job with AI, in the worst way possible; generating entire assignments, readings, and even major grade exams with ChatGPT. The signs were obvious, and the results were terrible; the school took action, but I fear that this is only the beginning of the end.
People have been using LLMs, especially ChatGPT's 4o model, as a means of emotional companionship... I don't think I need to spell out what this means. It's predatory and terrible for people's mental health.

If you felt that was a bit of a headache, in conjunction with everything happening with regards to employment and governance... then wait 'til you hear about OpenAI's new "Stargate" project... and yes, it's as bad as it sounds. To quote from the linked post:

The Stargate Project is a new company which intends to invest $500 billion over the next four years building new AI infrastructure for OpenAI in the United States. We will begin deploying $100 billion immediately. This infrastructure will secure American leadership in AI, create hundreds of thousands of American jobs, and generate massive economic benefit for the entire world. This project will not only support the re-industrialization of the United States but also provide a strategic capability to protect the national security of America and its allies.

Let's put this blatant emotional engineering with the "national security of America" bit aside and consider the implications of this move. How much energy is this shit going to use? Where is the energy going to come from? Let's see what the AI bros in the mainstream media have to say about it...

OpenAI, Oracle and SoftBank, which is helping fund the project, announced on Tuesday five additional Stargate sites across Texas, New Mexico, Ohio and an additional unnamed site in the Midwest. That brings the size of the initiative to nearly 7 gigawatts and more than $400 billion of investment over the next three years, which includes an existing $300 billion agreement between OpenAI and Oracle.

7 gigawatts. Let's put that into perspective. Kashiwazaki-Kariwa Nuclear Power Plant is the largest single-reactor nuclear power plant in the world if measuring by capacity, with capacity (when it was still running) sitting at around... 8 gigawatts, sans any factoring for inefficiencies in the distribution network and at the reactor end itself. So... yeah, that's kind of cooked. And what is this administration going to do to expand our great energy infrastructure? (which completely failed my great state of Texas about four years ago and led to several people dying of exposure because the grid wasn't weatherproofed in the slightest....)

Sec. 3. Immediate Review of All Agency Actions that Potentially Burden the Development of Domestic Energy Resources.
(a) The heads of all agencies shall review all existing regulations, orders, guidance documents, policies, settlements, consent orders, and any other agency actions (collectively, agency actions) to identify those agency actions that impose an undue burden on the identification, development, or use of domestic energy resources — with particular attention to oil, natural gas, coal, hydropower, biofuels, critical mineral, and nuclear energy resources [...] Sec. 4. Revocation of and Revisions to Certain Presidential and Regulatory Actions.
(a) The following are revoked and any offices established therein are abolished: [...] (xii) Executive Order 14096 of April 21, 2023 (Revitalizing Our Nation’s Commitment to Environmental Justice for All). (b) All activities, programs, and operations associated with the American Climate Corps, including actions taken by any agency shall be terminated immediately. Within one day of the date of this order, the Secretary of the Interior shall submit a letter to all parties to the “American Climate Corps Memorandum of Understanding” dated December 2023 to terminate the memorandum, and the head of each party to the memorandum shall agree to the termination in writing.
Sec. 6. Prioritizing Accuracy in Environmental Analyses. [...] (b) The Interagency Working Group on the Social Cost of Greenhouse Gases (IWG), which was established pursuant to Executive Order 13990, is hereby disbanded, and any guidance, instruction, recommendation, or document issued by the IWG is withdrawn [...] Sec. 7. Terminating the Green New Deal.
(a) All agencies shall immediately pause the disbursement of funds appropriated through the Inflation Reduction Act of 2022 (Public Law 117-169) or the Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act (Public Law 117-58) ...among other things, read it here (https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/unleashing-american-energy/)

Well shit. Thanks Trumpf, I hope you're happy that we're as a government buying into some fringe anti-renewable craze that stifles an emerging industry just to protect your industry connections. It's comforting to know that almost all the top decisionmakers in our government are so old that any bullshit they pull regarding the climate will have their crippling effects AFTER they die peacefully and rich of old age, and we as the younger generation will have to clean up and fight over the scraps. Good job.

Consider this love-triangle of fossil fuels, the US Government, and AI companies for a moment. Now turn your attention back to RAM, and it all makes sense...

Oh hell! No wonder the prices have gone up, they're buying up so much that eventually this one singular AI company could consume 40% OF GLOBAL OUTPUT. No wonder Micron disbanded Crucial to focus on AI, if they're buying up that much then I'd shift all my production to this fat market too! And this really is the situation that all of us (at least in the United States) are facing; a cabal of the leading AI entrepeneurs, the government, and other large corporations, cannibalizing our nation's resources, people, and capital, all to enrich themselves for what limited time they have left on this earth. It's cannibalism on a societal level, and while it might just be RAM chips today, soon it'll grow to food, housing, you name it... if we don't do anything about this oligarchization of the United States economy. Materialism and social media will catch up to all of us then, because we'll be too blinded by vanity and the pleasure trap to act. Don't act surprised when we end up in that dystopian society.

Goodnight.

Sky COTL review

juniper — Sat, 25 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Recently I've started playing Sky: Children of the Light, and I have to say it's a pretty fun game, especially with friends. I was introduced by one particular friend of mine who's very close to me and who is a veteran from since the game first released, so it's been pretty smooth sailing. I will divide this review into two parts: one deals with what I think of the gameplay itself (the meat of the game) and one with all the community engagement and social features on here.

Gameplay

If you go by any usual definition this game is pretty boring. Scratch that, it's very boring. Without diving into the details of the story, it's pretty slow paced and almost every character you meet has its own sidequest. The issue here lies in the fact that there are no words to be found in any of these, meaning that everything has to be orchestrated as if it's some sort of puppet show. Sure, there is a deeper plot, and I can understand why they made this creative decision, but to me this is somewhat of a dealbreaker; every game that I like to play does so through a detailed narrative, factions I can form opinions about, and greater themes. Without a greater literary component, there's not much for me to latch onto lore-wise. I suppose the characters are pretty cute though.

Sky has a massive open world and plenty of different realms for you to discover and enjoy. I myself haven't found all of the the spirits yet. The task herein is actually quite difficult since you have basically no ingame map (one exists but is utterly useless since you can't access it on the move and is extraordinarily undetailed) and have to manually fly everywhere. I would say however that this in fact only contributes to the game experience since in other games you basically just fast forward through it all. It forces you to stay in the "here and now."

The flying mechanics are the hinge of the whole game and I have to say that after I turned on the "Invert Flight" setting in the control settings, it felt very natural and comfortable to fly around. There are two flying modes for when you are cruising and landing/navigating vertically, and each feels pretty decent. I don't appreciate however this weird autojump-y thing whenever you are going over small gaps. This is quite annoying especially in this one realm called the Valley of Triumph, and I wish there was some way to turn this off. Maybe there is and I'm just a dumbass, I dunno.

Now the big elephant in the room is the monetization model. You can definitely play Sky without paying, but it is VERY time consuming, and many things such as cosmetics are often locked behind a paywall. This is to be expected seeing as it is a free live-service game, one targetted at mobile devices too in fact. Needless to say, I find this very disagreeable, though that won't and hasn't stopped me from playing something. I did purchase this period's Season Pass for shits and giggles since I've been playing more recently and honestly it's not that bad of a deal. If you're familiar with something like a Hoyoverse game style battle pass, it's similar except it lasts twice as long and has way more exclusive content associated with it; from a F2P standpoint that last part is a bad thing, however if you're going to buy in anyway it's not too bad value.

To be frank, there's lots of bugs that seemingly have always been there and just never get fixed. There's tons of spots in various different maps where your character can just fall straight through the map, not to mention quite a few random crashes every now and then and general wonky behavior. Strangely, this didn't feel like it got too much in the way of gameplay. Overall it felt pretty well-refined apart from my prior disagreements with the autojumpiness. It's a polished and fun experience.

This by far is what I feel to be the greatest selling point of this game, and why I would personally recommend you give it a try. The whole game is built around the vibrant worldwide community that has come to dwell in this world. In my first day of playing seriously, I met so many new people from places ranging from Peru to Spain to China and everywhere in between. Everyone was so welcoming and I'm happy to report that the Sky COTL community is probably one of the most genuine and friendly playerbases I've seen in basically any game. Why? The whole experience is built around playing with other players and interacting with the content that they make. Not only are there a ton of amazing shared spaces for you to explore but there are also things like... live music!?

Did I read that right? Live music!??!? That's right. Not only that but people are actually pretty good at playing these ingame instruments and you get to watch tons of live performances. It's pretty magical and I eventually want to learn how to play these things too... seems pretty fun.

Needless to say there's tons of fun to be had with the Sky community. It's genuinely so incredible and it's what keeps me logging on. Definitely give it a shot just for that.

Conclusion

I would overall rate this game a 7/10. The gameplay itself I personally don't find to be the most fun but it might be perfect for someone else... if you like Animal Crossing or something you'd probably have a blast. Eden is pretty fun though. The social aspect on the other hand... that's the true selling point. Definitely give it a try if you have the time.

DRM

juniper — Sat, 30 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I'm a big proponent of physical media, especially when it comes to the music world. I think that buying something directly is the best way to support your favorite artists, rather than streaming it on a service like Spotify or Apple Music and them only receiving a cut of the profits. To this end I've bought digitally basically all the music I listen to, with the only exceptions being very obscure albums that I can't buy anymore in my region. This is one of the main pillars of what I feel it means to be a moral consumer: to own what you use. Nothing more, nothing less, just a paying customer.

This past month I decided to purchase Ado's Shinzou live Blu-ray. You can probably tell by the rest of the site and blog content that I'm a huge fan of hers, and I've always gone to her concerts and bought merchandise whenever I could, in addition to of course buying the albums. I got it from the official Ado Music Shop and it arrived within about a month. Great! Now I can finally see her from the comfort of my own home!

...I thought, foolishly.

You see, Blu-ray discs have copy protection, but naturally since I actually bought the damn thing and didn't plan on ripping it I should be able to play it just fine, right? Oh, no, no. AACS copy protection blocked me playing the actual, commercially distributed disc!

This already was a bit of a shitshow as I could only play the disk on my geriatric standalone Blu-ray Player at that point, and not my PC or anything. Pirates and all those "people" just click a few buttons and wait for the torrent to finish downloading before they just have the file on their computer. Bullshit... who's actually being punished here.

So I decided to write this scathing piece on modern media consumption as a whole to vent my frustrations with the media industry as a whole for forcing this bullshit down our collective throats and tying everyone in society up into a web of "convenience" which is keeping them shackled in their terrible subscription-based hellhole which damages both consumer and artist rights. I HATE IT HERE AHHAHAHHSHHAHHASSH

Who's REALLY losing

I am a high school student in the glorious (not so much anymore) United States of America. The conformist pressure here is like a fucking vice that clamps down on any and all individual thought and expression. Whenever I text someone new they say "ew green bubble" and/or question why I don't have Instagram/Snap/X/Xiaohongshu/TikTok/whatever the fuck preferred spyware this generation uses. To that I say: who the fuck cares, if you're willing to get fucked in the ass by the government and these megacorps selling your data and messages so that they can train language models to take your job, and track you so they can kill you if you do anything wrong, I say go ahead. But I draw the line at fucking over artists and musicians.

That's unfortunately what's occuring at the moment. The way music consumption occurs in the modern West revolves around streaming of content directly to a device. This sounds good since you don't need to hog your own storage space for your media, however the execution is utterly detrimental to the media industry. In an ideal world, you could buy an album or something online and then it's open for you to stream to your device, maybe encrypted so you can't just intercept the file while it's being streamed and share it everywhere. That's not what happens though! Instead, after making an account on this usually free service, or through paying monthly, you get access to every song ever released by anyone to this platform, in exchange for said artists potentially being paid an absolutely tiny fraction of the ad revenue/your subscription payments if you listen; Gary Numan referenced in the previously linked article made just around $50 from a song with over a million streams on Spotify.

Consider how many people listened to his song. Let's make a few assumptions first; let's say the average listener listens around 10 times, to account for the fact that many on these platforms only listen once and others on repeat. This napkin estimate gives 100,000 people who listened to his song on Spotify. Even if we assume that less than 1% of these listeners would have bought the record, that's still a thousand people buying the song. That's at least a couple thousand dollars, even with the majority cut the record company gets. As Numan states, "If you're really at the top, then you can earn pretty well from streaming... if you're not, you might as well forget it, it isn't even worth printing it out, printing out the statement."

There's lots of talk on the internet about how "TikTok/Spotify democratized the music industry" but at the end of the day these small artists are usually getting fucked out of a vast, vast majority of their well-deserved income. Music discovery services existed long before both of those platforms, the only caveat was that these didn't just let most people listen to the thing an unlimited amount of times for free; you still had to buy the record if you wanted permanent access. Bandcamp links in bios can only do so much.

But get this; you, the consumer, are also being cheated, groped and grossly violated by the streaming service you pay monthly, the DMCA, and censorship statutes. With the power of DRM, content just disappears from these streaming services if someone doesn't like it. Here's my experience with music by Mohammed Abdel Wahab, a revered Egypt composer during the Nasser period, whom I deeply admire.

The case of Mohammed Abdel Wahab

For as much as I shit on streaming, you're basically forced to use it because lots of music just isn't available to purchase these days and is streaming only- that or it's not sold in your particular jurisdiction. This was the case with Mohammed Abdel Wahab's music. Two songs of his I really loved because of the lyrical subject matter and the general composition; El Watan El Akbar and El Geal El Saed, both of which are pan-Arabist in nature. Please do note that both of these songs are perfectly PG and have nothing jingoistic about them.

Well one day I awoke to find that both of these songs were now gone from my playlist, but not in the sense that the songs were grayed out and no longer playable like how it usually happens. No: they were deliberately replaced with different songs by the platform to avoid suspicion. Don your tinfoil hats, my friends....

These are the songs that they were replaced with, respectively:

How do I know they were replaced? Because the previous hotlinks to both songs just go here now. Literally the URL is the same and just got transferred to these songs. Why, you may ask?

I have a theory here. These songs both disappeared around the same time, for one, so it probably was something coordinated. His other songs that weren't ideological weren't touched either, leading to this possibility which I believe to be true; the song was taken down because it represented an ideology that is currently not something the western governments (including that of Sweden, where Spotify is based) want around. Instead of leaving blanks, they were replaced with similar songs so that there'd be plausible deniability if anyone asked questions.

This is just another example of how DRM leads to content being at the mercy of whatever platform it's on, and platforms do this kind of stunt all the time. Amazon for instance remotely deleted the books Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm from a high schooler's Kindle... talk about censorship. Point is, we can't trust these platforms to have either the artist or our interests in mind.

The degeneration of creative expression

Skip this if you're easily offended.

The afforementioned shift to streaming services and social media as the primary way for people to discover new media has made said media drastically worse. Let me paint a picture for you:

Previously, when discovering something new, it could have been either by word of mouth, someone else writing a review of it, or whatever other method. These all paint the content through someone else's lens and with their own interpretations on what it means and its value. From this you can deduce whether or not you want to check it out. As it stands, this is not how it occurs on social media. From talking with my friends about new artists they find, one of the primary methods is through them hearing the song as a background track/hearing about the book on TikTok or other short-form content. Why is this a bad thing? Because it forces lots of the independent artists to make art that is 1. instantly appealing at first glance and 2. easily consumed.

(RANT! RANT! RANT!)

People scrolling these brain destroying factory platforms do not have the will to turn on their brains to what they're hearing. If it sounds good, it's good... have you seen what the fuck passes for "music" or "literature" on these platforms? I don't care how much you like smut or how much you like the "best friend's brother" archetype or whatever the FUCK "tropes" you think makes a novel good, the fundamental fact is that these are mass-produced to cater to the audience and have zero artistic substance whatsoever. There, I said it. Fucking cry about it. Colleen Hoover and Jenny Han or what have you just turn out slop so that teens can stay at home and scroll TikTok or fucking RedNote and get the simulated joys of going out into the world instead of actually talking to people. Yes, I've read "The Summer I Turned Pretty" and "It Ends With Us"... they both are absolute nothing burgers in every sense of the word.

Whatever happened to crack fanfiction? People are too scared to go on AO3 for their degenerate content, so you have to get a YA novel with a cute illustrated cover so that you can appear civilized while reading the same shit but soulless and corporate and executed even worse? You have NEVER read something good in your life so you're attempting to portray yourself as more intellectually open than you are but secretly close yourself off from any and all criticism and actually intellectually stimulating content because your brain is mentally stuck in the third grade. Nice work.

Anyway, it all sucks now. If you wanna argue then email me or something, I'm happy to give you a more logical explanation, but this is too fun.

You own nothing

Let me take a moment to go back to the Mohammed Abdel Wahab case study I presented earlier. The whole reason that and the Kindle incident happened is because we today as consumers have no ownership rights over the media content we consume. If you're using these platforms, you have NO control over any of it and the decisions they make. Despite you paying real money for it (either your cold hard cash or your time), you are merely lended the right to temporarily use the content. It's not in perpetuity or anything. They can do whatever they want with your money.

So then, if paying isn't enough to own something, then what does that make piracy? Everyone wants a permanent right to use their favorite media, but there's no way to accomplish that easily save for pirating it. I ask you, dear reader; at that point, why should the consumer even bother to pay for it? There is no other option to consume the media in perpetuity. Even as a person with a functioning moral compass and who doesn't like piracy as a result, it's clear that the media landscape is utterly hostile to the simple proposition of owning content. What's even the point of engaging with the system?

What we ought to do

You can pin the blame on DRM, but at its core corporate greed is the cause for a lot of these troubles. Therefore, if we want to go back to a dignified way of consuming media, we must vote with our wallets. I do not give my money or time to these platforms or these entities. I support my favorite content financially in exchange for ownership of a copy. It's a customer-seller relationship, one that is disappearing fast across the developed world.

Of course, not many people are going to go and read this. I hope you do consider what I've said here, though.

National parks pt. 2

juniper — Fri, 08 Aug 2025 00:00:00 +0000

So unfortunately I wasn't able to write as much as I hoped seeing as the trip itinerary was so physically demanding and I was just tired every day... so here's the retrospective of the whole trip, as I'm writing it on the final day. I will write a separate thing for my experiences in Vegas later since that necessitates something of its own. shudder...

If you plan on doing something similar, please do note that for almost all of the length of this trip there was exactly zero cell service. Plan accordingly and bring lots of water+ sunscreen.

Zion

Zion National Park as stated in the previous post was the first park I visited on the trip. It's right in south-central Utah which means the drive from LV isn't too long. Accomodations there were pretty good, having stayed at Springhill Suites. There was a neat fire pit right outside the breakfast area and it had a great view of the surrounding terrain.

Overall the scenery was beautiful with a real Mediterranean feel that reminded me of things I've seen in Lebanon or something. (makes sense considering the name of the park.) Unfortunately I wasn't able to go and hike Angel's Landing since I didn't get the permit but I did go the entire length of the Narrows and went up a couple other trails which I can't recall the names of.

I would definitely recommend going. The trails I went on were pretty manageable and I think would all be suitable for families or beginners, save maybe the Narrows. Even that one is easy enough if you have enough grit to get through the thing.

Bryce Canyon

Bryce Canyon National Park was a highlight since I had more time there and got to experience more of the park. The whole shtick with Bryce is the high concentration of hoodoos, pillar-like rock structures formed by frost and water erosion over long periods of time. There were definitely a hell of a lot of them! Views were very beautiful and the hike down and back up was manageable even if it was about like 8 miles or so.

I woke up early the second day to go watch the sun rise, and it's something I would recommend you do too. The temperature was perfect and the views were impeccable.

Add in the deer and you've got a pretty nice spot!

Capitol Reef

I only spent an afternoon here so there isn't much to say exactly. Of course the scenery was very nice, especially around Panorama Point and the other spots, but I can't exactly go into detail about the trails since I didn't do any of them. :(

I do hope whoever died here found peace though.

Arches

Another highlight of the trip! Both the stargazing and the natural terrain lived up greatly to expectations. Starting with the former, as a city-dweller, it was captivating to see the night sky that I've seen so often in photos but so rarely in real life. Light pollution is inescapable for most people and unfortunately it's now the case where most people will never truly see the night sky as it really is. To finally see the Milky Way, all the constellations, and even some other galaxies was something I will never forget.

Now the actual arches! To think that these windows are all caused by natural erosion is a little hard to comprehend. The timeframes that these landforms are forming on are incredible and many of these rock layers date from way before the age of the dinosaurs. These arches are no exception. I am told that they are reaching the end of their geologic lifespan before they erode away completely, but by that they're probably talking several tens of thousands of years. EIther way, it's good that I was able to see them in their heyday.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention how nice Moab is. Even though it has such a low population it doesn't feel like a typical American small town with the Dollar General and the McDonalds on Main Street. Rather it seems oddly cosmopolitan, I guess owing to the tourism industry being its main economic lifeblood. I got some decent shaved ice from this nice lady operating a stand.

Rocky Mountain

Rocky Mountain National Park was I think the longest or second-longest drive of the trip. It went from a desert to a cold mountainous forest environment that you would picture when thinking of Colorado. Quite scenic.

I stopped by in Eagle to get a quick bite and was mildly surprised by the fact that they not only had citywide WiFi, but also... bus service? After doing some research I found that the population was about 7,500 and that the median income was about $100,000 for a family. Wow...

The hikes at Rocky Mountain were considerably more difficult than the others so far and were in fact the toughest of the whole trip. But seeeing Lake Haiyaha and all the amazing views from the mountains made up for all the lack of feeling in my legs and feet and my incredible sunburn. The chipmunks were even so kind as to pose for the photos!

A brief mention too, at the cabin where I was staying I got to have front-row seats to a wedding from the hot tub, and then the next day I saw a double rainbow after a thunderstorm while in said hot tub. What a life.

Going up past the treeline, I found a landscape that was pretty reminiscent of the Scottish Highlands in my mind's eye. It was full of these rocky hillsides and low-lying alpine plants. I can see why some people call this reigon the Switzerland of America, since it does resemble the Alps quite a lot.

Mesa Verde

Mesa Verde was a place I've been wanting to visit for a while since I'm interested in anthropology and history so there was a bit of academic interest in the site. However I arrived too late to get a tour into the place, which was very unfortunate. Nevertheless, the scenic drive is pretty interesting too, and you can get a good view of all the different buildings without having to walk much, which makes it probably the most child-friendly of all of these.

Seeing all these cliff dwellings really makes you wonder how life must have been for these people. I found myself thinking about how it must have sounded when this place was still populated. Maybe there was some random kids crying? Dogs running around and being a nuisance? Fascinating stuff, and I definitely wish to learn more about this place and the history of the settled natives in general.

Antelope Canyon

Definitely was a very hot tourist destination considering all the people there! There were lots of Europeans and Orthodox Jews in the other places too but this was on a whole new level, the entire visitor center was packed to the gills. This was the only guided tour I took and it was decent enough.. My tour guide told me all the best photo spots.

It's a bit hampered by the fact that there's not much to see within the canyon. I'm no geology expert so I couldn't exactly dissect all of the various formations and it all looked pretty similar to me.

Lake Powell

This was my first time ever kayaking and to be honest it was pretty nauseating but otherwise it was a good experience. I got one of the kayaks with the foot pedals so the only paddling I really had to do was when getting close to land or if I was stuck. The currents were pretty weak but I get very easily seasick and I hurled twice, once when going to the canyon and once when heading back to the marina. There were lots of powered watercraft too which made a lot of wake and worsened the situation. As for the kayak itself, the foot pedals ended up getting extremely hot and there was no sun protection, so all the parts of my foot I didn't manage to get sunblock on got very badly burnt. It still hurts as I'm writing this. Stlil, it was fun to experience something new.

Closing thoughts

All in all these destinations were all pretty nice, and of course if I was able to spend more time in any of the places I would probably have had an even better time. I will definitely go and visit more of these parks in the future, since as you know, America's park system is under threat and many of these places will begin to deteriorate from now on.

Also fuck Vegas, but that's for next time.

[This post was written while listening to Mayhem - Live in Leipzig]

National parks pt.1

juniper — Sat, 26 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0000

For the next week or so I'm going on a trip to some of the various national parks in the Western US. This is the first part of what will hopefully be a few blog posts about the whole thing. Mostly it'll be hiking and stuff though, so not much I can say. Maybe I'll put the photos on my gallery.

Flight to Las Vegas

The first park I'm visiting is Zion so naturally the easiest airport to fly to is Las Vegas Int.l. I flew on an American Airlines A321neo from DFW, and I can say that the flight experience was very decidedly normal routine. DFW is a pretty easy airport to navigate (then again I'm a native to the area so...) and overall check-in is quick. It seems that TSA has gotten some more advanced scanning hardware since this time I didn't even need to take my shoes off or take the electronics out of my backpack, I could just leave eveyrthing as-is in the bag. This is pretty convenient. Obviously, you can probably guess how I feel about government and the surveillance, REAL ID stuff... that's besides the point. The TSA officers were very receptive and checked my film separately without much fuss. Pretty smooth sailing. I got a quick burger and boarded without much incident.

The flight was pretty smooth. There wasn't any turbulence which is odd considering my usual experiences with flights over the western desert regions, to California and such. American is a very decidedly average carrier, they had a snack service... I think that the Biscoff biscuits have gotten a little cheaper, I don't recall them being that crumbly. It's a pretty quick flight anywho. Restrooms were pretty well maintained when comparing to other experiences with domestic flights. The seats American install on their A321neos are fine, the cabin's in a 3-3 layout for economy class with 2 universal power sockets in between each seat, a USB-A port on the seat in front of you, and a phone holder in addition to the tray table. Free WiFi was offered for T-Mobile customers which I am, and non T-Mobile customers had access for 20 minutes after watching an ad. Of course, you could also just pay for it. Interesting strategy... Leg room was great but I'm short (166cm) so maybe it could be an issue for people on the taller side.

At Las Vegas

Vegas isn't at all the focus for the trip, plus I've been there one too many times in my life (once). Once you land in Las Vegas you can smell the human rot and despair and the faux jovial aura that eminates from every pebble and brick in this god-awful city. It is the perfect embodiment of the American consumerist plague. Immediately upon exiting the gate, you are greeted by slot machines. All the way to the baggage claim, there are gambling areas dotting the hallways. It's really a tragedy, these people are so addicted that even on their way out they feel the need to do one more spin. None of these people looked happy at all.

The shuttle to the rental car area was pretty fast. Enterprise had a decent selection and it was a quick enough process.

Dinner

I ate dinner at this Vietnamese place called Saigon Corner. I'm a big fan of Vietnamese food and I just wanted something comforting to eat, since I didn't eat breakfast or a proper lunch. I ended up ordering the "Saigon Premium" pho and snails in an egg yolk sauce, along with an iced coffee. Honestly, I can't really tell the difference between different types of pho, but I can tell if it's good or not, and this pho was decidedly quite nice. Very filling and delicious, without being too heavy. There was plenty of meat, which had a good texture, and it was priced at a nice competitive price. The snails were also quite nice, there was lots of actual snail meat as opposed to the snails' shit, which is a good step up from the snails I'm used to eating back in China. The sauce tasted reminiscent of Chinese salted duck eggs, very interesting. Lastly, the iced coffee was excellent, Vietnamese coffee is my favorite. Strong yet not too bitter, no sourness and it was very creamy. To anyone visiting, it's pretty good, maybe consider stopping by here. The waiter even gave me a free extra coffee since he thought I ordered another to go (I changed my coffee to to-go since I had to leave) and just told me to take it since he already made it. Good guys!

Driving to Zion

The drive to Zion is pretty scenic. It crosses a lot of hilly backcountry and the stars are really visible here, a city-dweller like me would like it a lot. Not much else to say, it's just driving.

The snakes poisoning our species

juniper — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Ultimately when we associate ourselves with people it is since we have a goal in mind. We talk to people in our class who are good at a subject for help on hard coursework, ask strangers experienced in a field to troubleshoot things, et cetera. Friends are no exception, the goal is entertainment and companionship. I know this sounds like some pseudo-intellectual nonsense but bear with me please... Recently I've been doing some soulsearching with my social circle. I have (or had now that I'm writing this) some people who I would have said are pretty close friends of mine. Now I can't help but feel it was all fake. Now when I talk to these people it's all veiled in this insincerity. God help me, get the fuck off my back I'm not gonna help you fulfill your delusions of YouTube stardom or whatever nonsense you've got planned for me.

People seem to forget these days that you don't have to be the same as them. We see this all the time; politics, art discourse, etc... wherever you look is the same polarization. People are criticized for saying things that people BELIEVE that other people will find offensive... people will criticize people for expressing themselves differently than the norm. There is pressure in our modern landscape to avoid being a "hater"... that is to say, you cannot express dissenting opinions about certain things, unless it's someone that people generally regard as an undesirable... then it's the opposite, you can't defend them or whatever they produce no matter the reason.

And this is what's happened here! I delete Instagram because I never even used the damn thing and I don't want them having my data any longer and I get flamed for being an attention seeking hater. I talk about my opinion on ChatGPT and I'm talked down for being an attention seeking hater. How the fuck is hating a bad thing??? Our world was built off of consensus, finding the best decision forward from disparate opinions. What counts as hating nowadays is what we would have called a few decades ago "having an opinion" for fuck's sake. Only sunshine thoughts now apparently! I chime into a discussion about trans people (by the way, did I mention that literally everyone here at my school except a few are also complete hypocrites when it comes to this LGBTQ thing? Gay/lesbian people are fine are fine to most people here, they probably crank it to ALL the porn of them... I have observed a stunning addiction to lesbian porn by the men of this school... but the mere idea of transness is absolutely immoral) and I'm again flamed and strawmanned with the same old arguments that are blasted by social media influencers... trans people in sports, the bathrooms, the age of majority. It is now abundantly clear that there is no more morality in this world, no thinking, there is only rule-following. And no, those are not linked... not at all...

Anyway, this isn't the place to discuss my own particular political leanings. What I mean to talk about is the shallowness of today's people, of all ages, and the unmasking of the vast majority of our population as snakes who want nothing but to take from others to enrich themselves.

At the time I'm writing this (July 2025) the United States is having a row about Trump's retarded (you also can't say that nowadays) decisionmaking when it comes to domestic and foreign policy. Obviously people want him gone, I do more than anyone, but there is discourse in liberal circles of ditching trans people (SORRY FOR NOT THINKING THAT I AM SOME IDEOLOGICAL CHESS PIECE BUT A PERSON, FOR ONE). Why do this? Well it gets voters, obviously. Most people seem to think that spooky scary trans people are taking over everything, from sports (there's less than 10 out of 510,000 competing in NCAA sports rn btw...) to the restrooms. But think about this for what it really is. Liberals in today's America are no longer champions of human rights, all they want is to push through their lackluster economic legislation, and to win over swing voters without any improvements in strategy but rather pivoting to step on America's least-desired minority. We all know what dominoes are on the table with this.

Look at our economic system, and everyone else's. No matter what anybody says, ALL countries of the world have their economic systems structured in such a way that the people at the very top take everything. "Communist" states, parties??? HAHAHAHAHHAHAH! The CCP is notorious for kleptocracy, everyone in that rotten structure is just there to enrich themselves... North Korea (which some people have started defending now that Ayatollah Khamenei and Putin are cool again, thanks Israel) literally is structured around two things: that fatass's lavish diet and his nukes. Your so called developed, liberal states? No matter where you look, there is always someone spitting on the guy below him. Certainly some places are better than others. But the fact of the matter is that a man who heroically assassinated a man who helped to end thousands of innocent lives for a profit motiveis derided for upending this system.

There is no more Robin Hood. He would not have lived in this society, he would've just become another dropshipper to scam old elderly people or whatever the fuck is popular these days. I don't care, it's all the same spineless slop anyway. The only way we as a society can help the poor is government stipends, and lord knows the government does not care about those people, they just want the sympathy of the people who do care so they get reelected. And if those went away, nobody donates to charities... so there's nothing. People just don't care about their neighbors and they'd rather keep making more paper tokens to buy shit instead of redeeming their soul and to have a sound conscience. Step, step, step, step. I have accepted this fact. Enemies will approach from all directions and use you and dump you in the trash once they're done with you. There is no stopping this if things go on the way they do, and more people are catching this particular mind-virus. Even the so-called egalitarians, the utopians, and the socialists, are all pure capitalists of personage in disguise.

Humanity is rotten to its core. It is doomed.

[This post was written while listening to Ado - Kyougen]

Ado concert experience

juniper — Wed, 23 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Yesterday (22 July 2025) I saw Ado live in Ft. Worth. Holy fucking shit, I'm never gonna forget it no matter what happens, even if I get Alzheimer's and don't remember my name or anything I'll remember that concert. I've always loved her voice, the passion and the aggression that she conveys in all her records. But LIVE is a completely different feeling. I'm getting chills just thinking about it... anywho, here's what I've got to say.

Ticketing...

This was the only low point of the whole experience, and unfortunately it's one you have to navigate if you want to buy concert tickets in the US of A these days. Ticketmaster has an absolutely shit service...

Buying tickets actually wasn't that bad. Then again I bought them over 6 months before the concert... but I digress. What really sucks about Ticketmaster is actually accessing your tickets. Nowadays, you can't really get physical tickets for concerts, only digital... which sucks enough, since that comes basically with the stipulation of needing a smartphone to even get in the door. I do happen to have one though, so let's continue.

You can access your ticket one of two ways: one, downloading the Ticketmaster app, which is only available through things like the Apple App Store and the Google Play Store, or importing the tickets into a digital wallet like Google Wallet. Already you can see the problem, as both avenues require the usage of these spyware platforms. I first tried the first option, but the app didn't even let me sign in! It seems they blocked my phone's UID since I connected first with a VPN, and even turning off the VPN and switching networks didn't help. So begrudgingly I used the second option. This was fine enough, but I'm still salty about the fact I had to use it. Fuck u Ticketmaster

The venue + traffic

This concert was held at Dickies Arena in Fort Worth, Texas. I've been there a few times before, and honestly the facility is really nice. All the restrooms and facilities are in tip-top shape and the seats are pretty nice. What I will say is that the 2nd floor of seats has a really high rake, and it felt kinda precarious getting to my seat. It would have been especially tough if there was someone else sitting in the row. Luckily I got in my seat about an hour and a half before she started (lmao) so there wasn't any issue there. Besides, my experience is that most stadiums are like that anyway.

Traffic was understandably pretty heavy into and out of the venue. Additionally, the parking lot was a way's away from the exit, so be prepared to walk for a while. Obviously, seeing as it's peak summer in Texas at the moment, it was really hot when I was queuing for merchandise and for the ticketing check. The AC inside the venue on the other hand felt really cold to me, so be prepared with a jacket or something if you ever happen to go. I happened to be cosplaying her for the concert (her og outfit, with the black overcoat white shirt and the blue rose tie) so there weren't any issues. Got several compliments for it, heh heh heh hehe hheheheh

Since it's an Ado concert, no recording (audio or video) or photography was allowed at any point. I think this is perfectly reasonable as she wants to remain anonymous, which ensures that we all focus on her artistry for itself. I think it's a really good mindset and if I were in her shoes I would want to do that too. Her connection with the crowd and the experience overall didn't feel any worse for it, and she was really engaged with us the whole time. I'll go over that more later.

Merch

There were several places to get merch at the venue, and at all of them the staff were quick and efficient. The lines weren't that long, even after the concert when everyone is rushing to snatch whatever's left. I can chalk this up to the employees at Dickies Arena's diligence and hard work. I ended up getting quite a lot of stuff:

The black short-sleeve tee
The long-sleeve tee
The poster
Mystery acrylic keychain
Mystery photocard
Tote bag

Everything was very prominently "Ado" and was of great quality. The printing on the shirts as well as the bag was vibrant and is the type that almost certainly isn't going to fade no matter how many wash-dry cycles it goes through. They were also pretty reasonably priced in comparison to the other artists I've bought merch from. In total I ended up spending roughly ~150 USD on all of it. It's all worth it, she literally saved my life so...

I'll be cherishing these and using these heavily for decades to come. Definitely gonna buy more next time though.

The concert itself

Fucking epic. I've always said that Ado is a death metal vocalist in an opera singer's body, and holy shit, hearing her live is transcendental. You can feel the angst and the anger in your soul. It's so more intense than her recordings, not that her recordings aren't also incredible.

Besides her absolutely FUCKING INSANE singing the visuals were amazing. Sad that I wasn't seated on the floor, us up top couldn't really do anything without risking falling and dying.

She spoke at length after Odo and after the encore. Obviously, her English was faltering (if learning Japanese is so hard for English speakers then naturally it's the same the other way) but it felt pretty endearing. She talked about her motivations for singing, loneliness, and the horrific climate here. relatable

If and when she returns to Texas, I'll have to see her. I can't really describe it well in words. It's as if she's five voices in one, all insanely talented, all bursting to be heard, and all of them working in harmony with all the others. You can hear this for yourself listening to her records and even more live. Please please please, if you like her, attend her concerts. Beautiful beautiful beautiful x10128381018248 times, my voice is completely gone and my eyes hurt from crying.

Closing thoughts

i love u ado plz come back to dfw soon :>

An easier way

juniper — Sun, 20 Jul 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I can't believe how stupidly I was using this thing. The previous workflow was:

Write the post in LibreOffice
Paste it into the Neocities HTML editor (the web-based one)
Manually format it

No wonder I was never consistent making these things! It took about 2 hours to format the fucking blog post let alone actually writing it. So I've got a new solution. I wrote a little bash script (you can find it at /assets/scripts/md2html.sh) that converts the Markdown files from my text editor to HTML, with all the formatting that I want. Seems to work ok... On that topic, today and yesterday was the first time I properly modded and put content on my site. It was pretty barren. Now that it's summer (end of it but summer nonetheless) I'll have more time to put my shit on here, and mayhaps it'll be of some use to you. I also got my onion mirror back up working. :>

So what do I have to say today?

Oh boy (or girl, or other) do I have a lot to tell you. I finally locked in and toughened up my OPSEC for all my personal computer/phone usage this week. It's probably still shit but it's better than it was before.

I2P

I've been aware of and using I2P for a few years, but as you can tell I'm just a dumb user and I had a really nasty ass getup for whenever I wanted/needed to use the thing:

Paste the new network and proxy settings into my regular web browser
Manually SSH into my I2P router
Manually change the network settings back after done using it

So obviously this works, and I didn't use I2P all that much then, so it was fine. Well, "fine." Then as I was doing this ritual for the umpteenth time I had the brilliant idea of using another web browser to access I2P and just leave my other one alone for clearnet traffic. Whaaatttt!??!??

So I installed GNU IceCat., it came with a bunch of bullshit like "LibreJS" which blocks any javascript that's not free software. I love free software too but holy shit go outside. You can't remove all those addons either, you're stuck with them. But I digress, now I've got it set up for my I2P traffic, and I've firejailed it because I'm a paranoid schizoid.

I never really used social media much, but I made accounts on there because I thought that since I was using a separate email and all that shit they couldn't profile me (this was like 5 years ago, don't judge). Obviously once you make them you can't exactly go back, or at least that's the popular perception it seems among people of my particular age cohort. If you're in high school in the United States and don't have an Instagram or Snapchat account you're living in the dark ages basically.

A few days ago, though, I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I had not logged into these accounts in over 6 months and would likely never feel the need to use them, and that I might as well just delete it so they delete some of my data as required by law. Of course, a lot of it will stay in their hands forever, but I can't really do anything to change that. So now my only social media is Bluesky, since I have a very modest level of trust in their service.

But let's not make it all about me. I got a few brilliant takes on this shit service category, so keep reading. Prepare to have your preexisting opinions validated!!!

The umpteenth short-form-content and generative AI rant

As previously stated I'm in the current-high school aged cohort of American teens, and I'm on the frontlines of this generation's battle with social media addiction, particularly to a category of social media which is generally referred to as "short-form content" and "generative AI" and by me as the brain pancake machine. I don't know if this is just me living under a rock or taking it too seriously but I've observed a marked decline in the average level of intelligence and the capability of these people to make their own fucking opinions. I'm gonna illustrate an example for you here:

Last year I took the class "AP Computer Science Principles", a pretty basic introduction into computer science and some internet protocols, using Javascript as the language of instruction. It was a pretty fun class, and my teacher was cool (was gone for most of the year though) but I sat to some real retards and they showed me the pits of humanity's worst.

I would like to preface this by saying that they were chill people, I enjoyed talking to them. I am also not shaming them, I'm pretty stupid myself, and I can't code to save my life. Just the degree of their brainrot was contagious though, I swear I lost a few braincells sitting next to them. The general routine for them that I observed in that class was.

Show up to class late, argue with the teacher.
Scroll TikTok/reels during instruction.
When time comes to actually do work, ask me to do it for them
When I say no, ask ChatGPT/Grok/whatever the fuck weird ass names these megacorps come up with

We're so fucking doomed chat

Recent political developments

This month we saw a ton of shit go down with the Trump presidency. First that "Big Beautiful Bill" getting passed because Lisa Murkowski got some Trumpist dick, to now the whole Epstein scandal being reignited and carried against the guy who started it. I'm honestly amazed nobody's seceded yet. But I'm along for the ride since I'm not 18 yet and I can't vote. But that's that.

The Russian Dream

juniper — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 00:00:00 +0000

1

In the late night, workers at a lumber mill near Smolensk shared stories, drank, and celebrated their newfound freedom. Constructed during the German occupation, the lumber mill was typically a quiet, cold place until the first Russian troops swept through the building during the war. One of the first things that changed was the flag, and now the bright, cheery colors of the Federation adorned the pole that sat outside. Now the workers weren’t afraid to not only look at the flag they lived under, but also at the stars that hung above them.

Under the summer sun of Belgorod, a group of young students took their stipend out to a freshly built commercial district. They wanted to flair up their clothing and maybe even buy some makeup. Only after all the laughter and celebration did they realize they had spent too much, and several the next day had to make a call home. Despite having to call home, none had to worry if they would see their families again.

Within Moscow’s first reconstructed synagogue, a sight no one inside would have believed only a year ago would ever happen again, a public Bar Mitzvah was being held. Not only did the fear of their entire culture being eradicated leave their mind for that moment, but they could be happy about the future for the first time. Among the tears and laughter that followed, they danced deep into the night, knowing this was but the first of many nights.

Throughout the massive motherland, the people celebrated, danced, and sang songs many thought were lost. In a place typically thought of as a cold and unforgiving place, the people of the Federation found warmth in the passion they now had in freedom.

The torch of liberty has thawed the Motherland.

2

Ivan Kuratov was once a scarred man. The long hours of backbreaking labor, the beyond brutal conditions, and the icey cold in the Vorkuta labor camp did that to everyone, prisoner or guard, who was foolish enough to inhabit it. To this day, he carried the scars, and the hardened palms of those days. He once thought that life under that continuous cycle of petty fiefdoms would never end. Even after the NKVD fell,he’d just come under another government who cared not for his well being. But now, times were changing.

When Kuratov had migrated to the city of Barnaul, and saw President Shukshin for the first time, his heart had beat with something that he had not experienced since childhood. Jubilation. Hope. A genuine dash of idealism. An infectious dream of eternal optimism, and true unbridled happiness for the future. The sun seemed to shine brighter on his face, now plastered with a dumb wide grin.

Now that the wars were over, the reforms were done, and his life truly transformed, he thought that he’d seen the end of wonder. He was wrong. That morning, he’d woken up to a stunning announcement. Elections. President Shukshin had given way to democracy, and was scheduling elections. Now his life was flooded with banners, posters, slogans, political campaigns, and the debates and news on his newly bought television set. He’d truly seen another Russian miracle. One greater than the miracle on the Volga, or on the Don. One greater than the miracle of the 2nd West Russian War.

On his way back home, he was intercepted by the Novaya Gazeta for a poll. With a wide smile, and groceries in hand, he said confidently:

“President Shukshin has my vote.”

3

Boris Solovyev had always hated moving. From the times of the German invasion and having to flee the family home, to the forced deportations by the labor camps, he hated moving. To him before, moving had always brought anguish, uncertainty, and sadness for the future. But now that was changing, just like everything else in Russia.

As he tugged his suitcase along the pavement of Rostov, a backpack on his shoulders, he felt as if a long night had passed and morning was coming. Oh, Rostov’s redevelopment was progressing nicely – the new commercial developments, new and modern residential areas, and all sorts of new leisure activities were certainly nothing to scoff at. But he was headed somewhere else – to Volgograd, the southern gem of Russia’s new crown. He could almost see the high-tech offices, and Alexander Nevsky’s bronze frame (at last, the city was restored to its former glory!) as he entered the Rostov Central Rail Station.

He made it through security without a hitch, and was soon at the main hall of the station. He swiped his card on the automated kiosk, and 20 rubles and about 30 seconds later he found himself with one ticket to Volgograd aboard Russia’s newest spectacle, the Skorostnoypoyezd, their new high speed rail network. Already thousands of kilometers of new tracks were being laid, and Russia’s recovering cities seemed to be brought closer together. Seeing as he’d arrived early, he thought he’d go and grab something to eat while he waited the roughly 30 minutes for the train to arrive at the station.

Soon he found himself at the station’s Teremok, which was packed with commuters, movers, and vacationers alike, all waiting on the same quick bite. Teremok was a rising name in Russia’s restaurant scene, combining Western conveniences such as fast service and low prices with a traditional Russian palette. He stood in line for a minute or two before it was time for him to order. He decided to get a plate of blini with some mors, and before long he was sitting down to eat his food.

While he chowed down and watched the clock, he began to swipe through the newest issue of the Novaya Gazeta. Apparently, the first general elections had been held in the recently freed Ukraine, and the results were overwhelmingly in favor of the liberal Civic Position party, with a dominating 185 of the 320 seats of the Verkhovna Rada and the presidency, with the newly elected Petro Tymoshenko to be inaugurated within about 4 months. He was delighted; he thought it great that the other peoples of Eastern Europe could share in their newfound freedom.

Putting away his plate and once again lugging his suitcase, he went back to the terminal just in time to nab a decent seat with a good view. He pushed his suitcase into the overhead shelf and his backpack under the seat in front. Upon sitting down, he noticed that the seats were not only quite comfortable but also could recline – he wasted no time in making use of it. As he settled in for the roughly 2 hour journey, he had but one thought on his mind.

What a great time it is to be a Russian.

4

Boris Solovyev had settled in nicely in Volgograd over the past few months. He managed to score a nice one-bedroom apartment in a brand new development, with his 14th-story room offering a commanding view of the new business district of the city. Modern furnishings, a comfortable bed to sleep in, heating and air conditioning, a television… if you had told him 10 years ago where he’d be living today, he wouldn’t have believed you in the slightest. Hell, he’d even started dating a girl. At 34, he wasn’t late to the show yet, and he’d met a lovely girl named Valentina at the bar about 3 months ago. They’d met each other’s parents and everything.

Which brought him to the question; where to for their first vacation together? He had managed to score a few weeks off work, and the same could be said for her as well. The first destination on the list had been Moscow, of course; nothing could match the Third Rome in beauty and prowess, even after decades of rot and mistreatment by the Germans. St. Petersburg was also on the table, but seeing as it was still being rebuilt it wasn’t on it for long. However, Valentina was no ordinary woman, and she certainly didn’t want any ordinary vacation.

“Kazakhstan? I mean, if you want to go I wouldn’t be opposed…” Valentina’s face lit up.

“Oh, there’s so much to do there! Just imagine us, riding off into the steppe on a majestic stallion, while we drink horse milk…”

Boris struggled to swallow a gag that popped up upon hearing that, but for her he was more than willing to endure the horror that it invoked in him. So now, after a week or so of preparation and packing, they were now in the newly built Pyotr Anokhin International Airport, which had just begun offering nonstop service to Alma-Ata via Russia’s new flag carrier, Air Russia. After passing through the security checkpoint without incident, and after Valentina successfully negotiated the acquisition of matching neck pillows, they found themselves aboard a new Yak-42 trijet airliner, flown by a Great Patriotic War veteran crew and served by well-trained flight attendants. Everything was laid out for the flight to be great, but still Boris found himself a bit anxious – he’d never been in a plane before, so that was to be expected as much.
All of that melted away once he saw the buildings of Volgograd fade away into clouds, giving way to the brilliant Russian sky, now free of foreign oppression and terror. Joy overtook him as he stared out into the seemingly endless sea of blue before him, and he looked back at Valentina.

“Signs of what’s to come, eh?”